This is what I've come up w....
I lack DEDICATION and FOLLOW-THRU.
I basically always start things... and rarely finish them. So my new goal I've set for myself is that when i decide to start something or take on a task I MUST finish it and give it everything I can to make it a reflection of me, not 1/2 assed.
Example. Right now, I sit (meditate) w a small group in Kennesaw, when I actually go and when Im not making an excuse not to go. But... everytime I do go I feel great, I love it! So I'm going to be more strict w myself about going EVERY SINGLE WEDNESDAY. and if for some reason I cant make it to actually sit w my group I will sit on my own, wherever I am.
Other Example. My sangha pays $25 a week to rent a teeny tiny room in the back of a church, which is great dont get me wrong, its a sweet little homey cozy room, but its money they may not NEED to be spending. So I have taken on the task of getting my group recognized as a student organization at KSU! So then we have a FREE room, AND we open ourselves up to a whole new 'potential' community. I think that if other students knew this was availible we would have a huge turn-out. I think about my friends and people Ive met on campus and I KNOW at least a few of them would probably try it out, and if they like it AWESOME and if not, at least they have opened themselves to a new experience and know what zazen (sitting to mediate) is all about, sort of.
Basically, I've learned in my few months of zazen that its about discipline. And I've also realized that I REALLY REALLY REALLY lack self-discipline. So this is me... turning over a new leaf... and Im really excited about it!
I'm about to scurry off to Rock and Roll class, then I'm getting the paperwork to make Kennesaw Zen Soto Center a legit student organization!
More to come after class about my WWOOFing plans! and if you have no clue what that is u can:
a) google it
or
b) stay tuned!
Much Love
(inner) peace- Michaela Marie
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